From flanagan@grover.stat.washington.edu Mon Oct 21 00:50:53 1991 From: flanagan@grover.stat.washington.edu (Jim Flanagan) Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards Subject: More Hack-n-Roll Date: 18 Oct 91 17:20:10 GMT Organization: Chandra Jim's Mojo UNIX Dojo Originator: flanagan@grover.stat.washington.edu In the spirit of the UNIX rock adaptations, I drag this out. UNIX* [To the tune of _Money_ by Pink Floyd] ---- UNIX, it's a gas; grab that VAX with both hands and make it crash. UNIX, it's a hit; Don't give me that PC DOS Bullshit. I'm into well benchmarked POSIX Open Systems I think I need a RISC chip. UNIX, jmp back; I'm all niced now pop your frame off of my stack. ---- *UNIX is a trademark of AT&T -- Jim Flanagan | flanagan@stat.washington.edu | Pragmatism is the defenestration of idealism. Systems Programmer | Diem ex dies with the most toys wins. UofW Statistics | From matt@oddjob.uchicago.edu Mon Oct 21 00:50:59 1991 From: matt@oddjob.uchicago.edu (Matt Crawford) Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll Date: 18 Oct 91 18:26:42 GMT Reply-To: matt@oddjob.uchicago.edu (Matt Crawford) Organization: Audible Boy Birdwatcher Society In-Reply-To: flanagan@grover.stat.washington.edu (Jim Flanagan) Cycles For Nothing (i want my i want my i want my X-MP!) Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it You run the fortran on the X-MP That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free Now that ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb Maybe Monte Carlo on a three-quark system Maybe design a little neutron bomb We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run See the kid professor with the blue jeans and the necktie Yeah buddy that's his own hair That kid professor got his Nobel prize now That kid professor he's a millionaire We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run I shoulda stuck to writing in fortran I shoulda kept that old 029 Look at that output, he got it stacked up to the ceilin' I bet he ain't read one line And in there, what's that? A hundred postdocs? Bangin' on the keyboards like some chimpanzees That ain't hackin' that's the way you do it Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free We gotta install microwave uplinks Custom fuzzballs for everyone We gotta link up DDS circuits BERT and loopback tests to run by Matt Crawford From jmason2@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca Mon Oct 21 00:51:05 1991 From: jmason2@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca (Jamie Mason) Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards,alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll Date: 19 Oct 91 08:34:18 GMT Organization: University of Toronto Computer Services Advisor Since I posted 'Unix Wizard', I thought up another Unix-specific song inspired by The Who... The Swapper (Concocted by Jamie Mason to 'The Seeker' by The Who) ----------- I've looked in kernel memory, I've looked in the tables. I try to find some core For fifty million pages. They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. I asked Dennis Ritchie, I asked Ken Thompson. I asked comp.unix.wizards, But they couldn't help me either. They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. People tend to hate me, Cause I swap too slow. As I page out their jobs They want to shake my hand. Focusing on swap space, Investigating pagefaults, I'm a pagedaemon, I'm a very desperate hack. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. I learned how to raise resident set size. Yeah, but look at this process it's mem'ry bound! I'm happy when you segfault, and when you run thrash.c I crash. I get values but I Don't know how or why! I'm looking for core, You're looking for CPU, We're running on the same box, And we don't know what to do! They call me the swapper. I've been searching low and high. Unix won't run out of memory Till the day I die. --- Jamie ... The Third Sync() Written On Saturday, October 19, 1991 at 04:31:16am EDT From brad@Sugar.NeoSoft.com Mon Oct 21 00:51:16 1991 Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards,alt.folklore.computers From: brad@Sugar.NeoSoft.com (Brad Morrison) Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll Organization: NeoSoft Communications Services -- (713) 684-5900 Date: Sat, 19 Oct 1991 19:10:46 GMT UNIX Man (to The Beatles' "Nowhere Man") -------- He's a real UNIX Man Sitting in his UNIX LAN Making all his UNIX .plans For nobody Knows the blocksize from 'du' Cares not where /dev/null goes to Isn't he a bit like you And me? UNIX Man, don't worry It's the tube that's blurry UNIX Man The new kernel boots, just like you had planned He's as wise as he can be Programs in lex, yacc and C UNIX Man, can you help me At all? UNIX Man, please listen My printout is missin' UNIX Man The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command -- Brad Morrison | brad@sugar.neosoft.com | Superman never made any money uunet!sugar!brad | For saving the world from Solomon Grundy (713) {584-1315,499-6418}| From throopw@sheol.UUCP Mon Oct 21 17:14:41 1991 From: throopw@sheol.UUCP (Wayne Throop) Newsgroups: talk.bizarre,alt.folklore.computers,comp.unix.wizards Subject: Re: found this the other day Summary: small (possible) improvement Date: 21 Oct 91 14:41:49 GMT > jmason2@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca (Jamie Mason) > I also found this thing which I sorta wrote this summer. This is > dedicated to all those weary Unix hacks who spend their entire waking > lives stuffing /dev/tty??'s clist so that processes have something to > read. :-) It seems to me this can be improved quite a bit, to make it scan better with the score, and such. "I have a modest example here." : Ever since I heard of Unix I've always had a ball, >From SunOS to Minix I must have run 'em all But I ain't seen nothing like him On systems large or small That tired, squinting, blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! He sits like a statue, Becomes part of the machine, Feeling all the limits, Knows what the signals mean Hacks by intuition His process never stalls, That tired, squinting blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! He a Unix Wizard, I just can't get the gist A Unix wizard's Got such a mental twist How do you think he does it? I don't know! What makes him so good? Ain't got no distractions Don't hear no beeps or bells Don't see no lights a flashin' Ignores his sense of smell Patches running kernels Dumps no core at all, That tired, squinting and blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! I thought I was The process table king, But I just handed My root password to him. Even on my favorite boxen, His hacks can beat my best. The network leads him in, And he just does the rest. He's got crazy Finger servers Never will seg-fault... That tired, squinting blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! Wayne Throop ...!mcnc!aurgate!throop From g1jmason@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca Mon Oct 21 17:15:12 1991 Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards,alt.folklore.computers From: g1jmason@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll Summary: Yet another Unix song Organization: University of Toronto Computer Services Advisor Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1991 16:34:42 GMT This one is dedicated to all you folks who have inadequate, slow computing facilties. (We don't! We just got an upgrade! :-) Waiting for the Sun (by Jamie Mason, to the Doors tune of the same name) ------------------- At first flash of daylight, We're still hacking in C. Sitting there Bashing one last Bug Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun. Can't you feel it, Now that work is due, That it's time to Fight for some CPU Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun. Waiting for the Sun. Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting for Make is Such a bore. Waiting for a.out to Stop dumping core... Waiting for some cycles All day long. Waiting for adb to tell me what went wrong. This is the strangest Bug I've ever known. Can't you feel it, Now that work is due, That it's time to fight For some CPU Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun, Waiting for the Sun. Waiting for the Sun. From et@sctc.af.mil Wed Oct 23 14:07:30 1991 Return-Path: Date: Wed Oct 23 06:51:29 1991 From: Eileen "ET" Tronolone Subject: Yet more hack and roll To: unix-wizards@sem.brl.mil I just had to send it in, fellas. I'm sorry. I could not let all that stuff go by and not send it in. Gateway To Heaven There's a lady who knows All the systems and nodes And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven She telnets there, she knows All the ports have been closed With a nerd she can get Files she came for Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven There's an motd But she wants to be sure Cos she knows sometimes hosts have Two domains In a path by the NIC There's a burdvax that pings Sometimes all of our flames are cross-posted Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven And it's processed by root Unix Labs will reboot NCR will then listen to reason And a prompt will respawn For those yet to logon And the networks will echo much faster Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven If there's a lookup in your netstat don't be .alarmed now it's just a pinging from the link queen Yes there are two routes you can type in but in the long run there's still time to change the net you're on (I hope so!) And as we find stuff to download We ftp and we chmod There was a sysadm we know Who changed the server to her own She had root privs and she used chown She hacked out on the DDN And if you tail her stdin Then you will find what you had lost And get it back with cpio To be a hack and not to scroll... And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven _______ / __ __ \ Sgt Eileen Tronolone 1. Self-possession is { (~o) (~o) } et@sctc.af.mil nine-tenths of the law. { \ oo / } <$HOME> 131.16.6.1 \ ~~~~~~~ / DSN 480-7250/6738 ------- HQ USAFE/SCICT 2. 62 days left until <> |/ Ramstein AB, Germany civilian mode and you <>=====O-- Box 194 PSC #1 think I'm speaking <> \ APO AE 09009 for the Air Force?!?? From S90406025@hsepm1.hse.nl Wed Oct 23 14:07:37 1991 Return-Path: Date: 23 Oct 91 12:18:22 +0100 From: S90406025@hsepm1.hse.nl Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll To: unix-wizards@sem.brl.mil X-Envelope-To: unix-wizards@sem.brl.mil In addition to the neverending flow of hack-n-roll songs, I decided to post this one. It's based on the all time Doors-hit "Light my fire". Tap my wire (the more's) ~~~~~~~~~~~ You know that I would be untrue You know that I would be a 'foo' If I was to say to you We couldn't hack ourselves to root Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher The time to sit and watch is gone No time to linger in the shell Try to make crack-programs run Yes we will make the tty's bell Come on hackers tap a wire Come on hackers tap a wire Try to set the mode-bits higher .... /*************************************************************************** */main(){int l;int i=0;static/* Maarten Los * */char S[13]="Olssv'~vysk("; /* Kapelstraat zuid 10 * */for(; i < 12;printf("\r"), /* 5503 CW VELDHOVEN * */i++)for(l= 0;l<40-i;printf /* The Netherlands * */(" %c\b",S[11-i]-7),l++);} /* uucp: s90406025@hse.nl * ***************************************************************************/ From aos@max.physics.sunysb.edu Wed Oct 23 14:59:35 1991 From: aos@max.physics.sunysb.edu (Adam Sah) Newsgroups: comp.unix.wizards,alt.folklore.computers Subject: Re: More Hack-n-Roll Date: 23 Oct 91 14:48:11 GMT Organization: Institute for Theoretical Physics, SUNY at Stony Brook. In-Reply-To: g1jmason@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca's message of Mon, 21 Oct 1991 16: 34:42 GMT Nntp-Posting-Host: max.physics.sunysb.edu In article <1991Oct21.163442.10544@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca> g1jmason@gpu.utcs.utoronto.ca writes: Waiting for the Sun (by Jamie Mason, to the Doors tune of the same name) ------------------- This reminds me of something we printed here in C.S. Major Magazine regarding our beloved Hewlett-Packard 300 Series... The Boys of HP (sung to the tune 'The Boys of Summer' by Don Henley) -------------- (csfs1 = Comp. Sci File Server 1) Nobody in the room no cursor on the screen I feel it in the air 'csfs1 not responding' empty disk, empty screen, the server goes down alone I was logged into my account and I know you have no phone. I can see it the workstation's collecting dust You've got your 'console long:' and your blank screen, baby. And I can tell you I'll never get my source by dawn once the boys from HP have gone. I'll never forget those night. I wonder if I ever got to sleep? Remember how you made me crazy Remember how _you_ made _me_ scream? I don't understand what happened to my source If I can't ever get it back, I'm sure you have no remorse. I can see it the system crashing on me you've got your pinstriped suit and your corporate paranoia, baby. And I can tell you my love for this will still be strong after the boys of HP have gone Out in the corridors I saw a bunch of lost programmers A little voice inside my head say, "Don't buy more, you should never buy more" I thought I knew where my source was What did I know? Those servers are gone forever, I should just let them go, but- I can see it- your drives eating my work You've got that salesman's pitch and your demo running baby. and I can tell you- my love for CS will still be strong even after the boys from HP have gone. (c) 1991 by Adam Sah These "opinions" do not represent SUNY at Stony Brook, although they should!